Dark week

BHARTRHARI, "Against the Desire of Worldly Things"

Morn after morn dispels the dark,

Bearing our lives away;

Absorbed in cares we fail to mark

How swift our years decay;

Some maddening draught hath drugged our souls,

In love with vital breath,

Which still the same sad chart unrolls,

Birth, eld, disease, and death.

Somehow that poem makes me feel better...

I should mention that this time it will be a dark sad posting... I just need to write the sadness out of me. So, if you don't want to feel sad you should skip this post. I love you anyway!

Rest in peace dear Uku!

 This lovely picture of you and your brother and sister will always show that even though you are not among us you will always be in our heart and beside your loved ones, guarding them...leading them. Life is unfair but in one point or another we all die... But we should have the chance to life our lives first!!!

Today my dad told me another bad news... He told me that my uncle, who had already his tumor removed and after yesterdays check up they discovered that he has cancer and there is nothing to do anymore :'( He may have the radiation therapy but it wouldn't change anything. We visited them last week and there I saw how tired he was all the time. I can't imagine what my aunty feels :( So many years he has been beside her and now such thing will crush them both :'( I wish...I wish... ohh..I don't even know what to say...

It has been often said, that it is not death, but dying, which is terrible.

HENRY FIELDING, Amelia

Although I though I will make a video about alcohol and how people react when they are under the influence of it I realised I would be able to talk about it and to stay calm. After what happened at my brothers place when I cried for the first time from sadness and from fear...I just want to say, that alcohol isn't excuse for acting like they did... You can always change your life and saying that there is no point just shows how lazy ass, weak and careless person really is! I manage to live my life as single-parent  and has anyone heard me complaining?? I try to see positive things in everything that is the reason I smile and feel happy about my life! If I would think that there is no point smiling or how depressing the day is, then that makes me feel bad+ my baby and others who see me. Shining like sun makes me stronger and seeing others feel happy too gives energy to deal with the crap i hear everyday! So saying that alcohol lets u forget the problems or you drink because it makes you feel happy is just a stupid excuse to run from your problems!!!

I love you all! Have a smilingly nice day/night! <3