In a bad state of feelings tonight...Lappy is laggy, internet goes on-off and all i can hear are excuses..one after another. Had my hopes high for tonight but thn it all started to crumble, piece by piece I was pulled down from my throne of happiness and thrown in the deep darkness of misery, deception and lies. Human stupidity still amaze me...Is it really endless? I hope i didnt ruined someones mood when they talked with me...
Easy, im not that kind of person who cries herself to sleep anymore..im over that. But its true, that there can be pain behind every smile... I realized when suddenly a person, who i thought was one of the strongest and happiest person ever and then BANG! He starts talking how all hates him and they dont really like him has he is. I so tried to help him, i wanted but he wouldnt listen. Then it hit me..im no one for him, why should he listen to me? Im just his friends friend or something like that. But the feeling that you see someone suffering and you cant help them..it also kills a part inside of you..i dont know how others can handel it but im an emotional person ( emotional enough to not cry -.-) who cant stand seeing misery around her.
Eeeh, i better leave it, Emma is calling me...Im going to hold her for 30 min and just stare her beautiful angel face...It always helps to calm down and set me in a peaceful mode.
Bye Cookies!
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